Ten things that piss me off...

[`Dr. Nick Riviera`]

Ten things that piss me off, by George Carlin

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the

time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is

yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom

is?

2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy, considering he

has no dick.

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the

entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk

to the TV and change the channel manually.

4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and

eat it too." Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake if you

can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake

instead?

5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look."

Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after

you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see

that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and

stare at the fucking ceiling up there. What did you come

here for?

7. The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey

Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't

drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!

8. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really

give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

9. When something is "new and improved", which is it?

If it's new, then there has never been anything before it.

If it's an improvement, then there must have been something

before it.

10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how

fast you were going? You should know asshole, you fucking

pulled me over.

If 99.9% is good enough then:

Two million documents will be lost by the IRS this year.

811,000 faulty rolls of 35mm film will be loaded this year.

22,000 checks will be deducted from the wrong bank accounts in the next

60 minutes.

1,314 phone calls will be misplaced by telecommunication services every

minute.

12 babies will be given to the wrong parents each day.

268,500 defective tires will be shipped this year.

14,208 defective personal computers will be shipped this year.

103,260 income tax returns will be processes incorrectly this year.

2,488,200 books will be shipped in the next 12 months with the wrong

cover.

880,000 credit cards in circulation will turn out to have incorrect

cardholder informaiotn on their magnetic strips.

55 malfunctioning automatic teller machines will be installed in the

next 12 months.

Post no. 1700

Dodajte vi i neke vashe izmishljotine... :P

[exile]

6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see

that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and

stare at the fucking ceiling up there. What did you come

here for?

Hahahahaahahhaahaha zasto li sam se smejao na ovo ovoliko :)))

[shoosh]

Evo tripova josx jednog isfrustriranog tarda

[Ph0r3w3r0]

99% sam chuo ranije a to za daljinatz, shta ako hotje da trazhi kanal, a ne samo da ga promeni...? netje valjda da stoji na 20 cm od tv-a i da menja preko 60 kanala...????

to za sat shto lik uvek pogleda u ruku koliko je sati, je u sluchaju ako ga ne chujesh... da ne mora da ponavlja...

za sve postoji bust sem za "Izvini, mogu li da ti postavim pitanje...?" (: (: (:

[Guest]

lik smara za medalju..

[noodle]

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the

time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is

yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom

is?

Sta ako ne govorimo isti jezik?

2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy, considering he

has no dick.

Ko?

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the

entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk

to the TV and change the channel manually.

Ti rucno vrtis 50+ kanala?

4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and

eat it too." Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake if you

can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake

instead?

Ne razumem.

5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look."

Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after

you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

Prvi sa poentom.

6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see

that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and

stare at the fucking ceiling up there. What did you come

here for?

A kako da pitam? "A jesi video?". Odgovor 50% ljudi: "Sta?".

7. The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey

Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't

drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!

Kapiram da je ovo ok. Drugi sa poentom.

8. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really

give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

Ovo je upitna recenica. Na nju mozes odgovoriti i potvrdno i odricno. Buddy.

9. When something is "new and improved", which is it?

If it's new, then there has never been anything before it.

If it's an improvement, then there must have been something

before it.

Treci sa poentom.

10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how

fast you were going? You should know asshole, you fucking

pulled me over.

Ko postavlja ovo pitanje? Pandur? A tebi i dalje nije jasno? Magarce!

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Iznervirao me covek, morao sam da mu odgovorim!

Volim ljude sa stavom, a ne one koji glume da imaju stav (u ovom slucaju, da bi pokusali da naprave foru). [:(!]

Edited October 15, 2005 by noodle

[Ramirez]

Ovo je upitna recenica. Na nju mozes odgovoriti i potvrdno i odricno. Buddy.

←

heh ja skapirao da samim pitanjem "can i ask u a question?" postavio vec pitanje pa zato ovaj kaze da je to glupo al mozda i gresim...

[noodle]

^^Ah, u pravu si.

I dalje mi tekst deluje pretenciozno.

[Ramirez]

^^Ah, u pravu si.

I dalje mi tekst deluje pretenciozno.

←

a to da...

[RaveN]

[ZerBah]

Brate, lik smara za medalju - pogotovo ovo sa satom i sa pandurima.

[Guest]

pokušaj maddoxa..

enivej, mene smara kad me ljudi pitaju za vreme ili štagod slično dok slušam muziku.. pobogu, ko danas nema sat ili mobilni?

[Green]

Ovih prvih deset su prilichno glupi, osim 2-3, npr ovo:

5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look."

Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after

you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

A ovo sa 99.9% je bash kewl .

Edited October 15, 2005 by Green

[Attila]

ko da sam pitao nekog pajdomana za misljenje! I on bi reko nesto pametno!

[oddball]

nego, noodle, mogu li da te pitam nesto???

[Lucky]

enivej, mene smara kad me ljudi pitaju za vreme ili

[Paja]

rofl e sad ja moram da razjasnim neke stvari noodle-u

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the

time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the fuck is

yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom

is?

- On je vec pitao "what time is it" i u isto vreme pokazuje u sat, dakle "strani jezik" nije validno

2. The Pillsbury doughboy is way too happy, considering he

has no dick.

- Ovo je mali chovechuljak koji se pojavljuje na pakovanju za kroasane i slichna peciva i uvek se smeshka. Napravljen je od testa.

3. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the

entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk

to the TV and change the channel manually.

- Ovo se slazhem sa tobom.

4. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and

eat it too." Fuck off. What good is a goddamn cake if you

can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake

instead?

- Engleska verzija izreke "hoces i jare i pare"

5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look."

Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after

you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

- Validno

6. When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see

that?" No dicknose, I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and

stare at the fucking ceiling up there. What did you come

here for?

- "U je jesi video ovo" dok obojica gledate isti film u isto vreme. Ne govori o tome da li se koristi rech "ovo" ili ne.. ochigledno nisi ukapirao.

7. The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey

Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't

drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!

- Za ovo nisam chuo.

8. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really

give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

- "Can I ask you a question" je ujedno i pitanje, tako da mu nije dao priliku da odgovori.. I ovo ochigledno nisi ukapirao.

9. When something is "new and improved", which is it?

If it's new, then there has never been anything before it.

If it's an improvement, then there must have been something

before it.

- Validno

10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how

fast you were going? You should know asshole, you fucking

pulled me over.

- Opet igra rechi.

Malo si preozbiljno shvatio sve ovo. Opusti se, gledaj pornic neki :).

[Guest]

džef hili je slepi gitarista, i očigledno je snimio reklamu za jednu od onih "ja ne vozim kad sam pijan" kampanja.. da mi je samo znati ko je to smislio..

[Lucky]

Ajde, ajde!

[lazica]

Amaterski, sad svaka budala objavljuje svoju listu hejtova...

[ch1zra]

jbg ivane.. dosla tak'a vremena :)

[Guest]

hejteri sveta, ujedinite se!

[ch1zra]

oujea... hejt powah !!!!!!!

[lazica]

jbg ivane.. dosla tak'a vremena :)

←

Pa da, al' to nije fora. Čim se ne

[darijan]

plavuse su ti ogavne?