`Dr. Nick Riviera` Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. Most dogs are immortal. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. The Chief of Police is always black. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth. Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage. No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside. An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XCain Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 + All aliens speak English fluently, but lack the abillity to speak without an accent Every alien invasion will tend to cover capital cities of USA, although non-capitals usually have a larger population You can dodge any explosion by jumping in the exact moment when the bomb/plane/car detonates All guards and servants of evil masterfiends couldn't hit a target if it were French kissing them Sad cu da smislim jos...... Quote I PITTY DA FOO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longleyy Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 Znam za ovo , aj da ne kazem BILO JE!!! Ali svejedno je bash fino :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weasel Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 I mi smo davali nase predloge :D moja omiljena The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uveta Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 Kako su sve ove stvari tacne, to je strasno. Mozda je c/p iz nekog prirucnika za mlade holivudske scenariste Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Immortalis Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it hahaha, konacno neshto da me nasmeje danas :D Quote This video contains content from Jimmy Kimmel Live, who has decided to block it in your country. [23:47] <manager-> jao dete jao dete :D chickenonaraft.kom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mitch Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 The Chief of Police is always black. Quote Bjukenon Mitch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Therion Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 svaka chast! bolno je tachno, ali ovo za Jurassic park seru, taj napon se kretje oko 20 000 - 50 000 volti, ali ima 2 -5 micro ampera, ako ne i manje, tako da te do jaja opizdi, ali te ne moze ubiti... ipak je ownage "You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home." Quote lama ftw" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PsYh0 Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 bilo :) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. vrh :) Quote Dopefish lives! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilauda Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 So true :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramirez Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 cudo da nema "when a policeman see a suspect on the street he will first yell his/her name and then start to chase him/her" Quote Spoiler http://www.slobodanjovanovic.org/author/vukasinmileusnic/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exile Posted October 8, 2005 Report Share Posted October 8, 2005 Da, to onaj fazon HEY YOU <ime prezime> STOP IN THE NAME OF LAW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramirez Posted October 9, 2005 Report Share Posted October 9, 2005 Da, to onaj fazon HEY YOU <ime prezime> STOP IN THE NAME OF LAW ← bas taj fazon Quote Spoiler http://www.slobodanjovanovic.org/author/vukasinmileusnic/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HajTekk Posted October 9, 2005 Report Share Posted October 9, 2005 "You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home." "It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors." Znachi vr' ! =) Quote Ziveo Tandarabriks, nash vodja ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crno-Sunce Posted October 9, 2005 Report Share Posted October 9, 2005 hahaha istina 100% ! Quote If there's some higher power that controls my fate, i would like to meet him, shake his hand, then crack open his ribcage and tear out his heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Intruder Posted October 11, 2005 Report Share Posted October 11, 2005 Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. :) true uvek me je to nerviralo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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