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LOTR & WWII

KalElen_

By KalElen_
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KalElen_

KalElen_

Posted
Posted

mislim da je lotr vetj bio ali kad vetj kachim wwII nije zgoreg podsetiti se i lotra

If World War II Was an Online Game...

...it might have gone a little something like this:

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*

*Eisenhower has joined the game.*

*paTTon has joined the game.*

*Churchill has joined the game.*

*benny-tow has joined the game.*

*T0J0 has joined the game.*

*Roosevelt has joined the game.*

*Stalin has joined the game.*

*deGaulle has joined the game.*

Roosevelt: hey sup

T0J0: y0

Stalin: hi

Churchill: hi

Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!

paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks

T0JO: lol

Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!

benny-tow: haha america sux

Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?

Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever

Stalin: cool

deGaulle: sh*t Hitler rushed some1 help

Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy

Roosevelt: i dont got sh*t to help, sry

Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me

Roosevelt: get antiair guns

Churchill: i cant afford them

benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?

paTTon: stfu

Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys

deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick

Eisenhower: i cant do sh*t til rosevelt gives me an army

paTTon: yah hurry the fock up

Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded

deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck

*deGaulle has left the game.*

Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?

benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?

benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?

Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO

T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u

Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses

T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol

Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u

Hitler[AoE]: wtf

Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army

Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker

Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler

Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!

T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard

Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path

Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE

Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol

benny-tow: haha

benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1

T0J0: o f**k i cant help u i got my hands full

Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help

Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya

Stalin: church help me

Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here

Stalin: dont be an arss

Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late

Eisenhower: LOL

benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help

Hitler: o man ur focked

paTTon: oh what now biotch

Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol

*benny-tow has been eliminated.*

benny-tow: lame

Roosevelt: gj patton

paTTon: thnx

Hitler[AoE]: WTF eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t

Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record

Eisenhower: Nuts!

benny~tow: wtf that mean?

Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped

paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun cocksocker

Stalin: rofl

T0J0: HAHAHHAA

Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay

Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city

*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*

benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself

Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL

Stalin: OMG LMAO!

Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows

*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*

paTTon: hahahhah

T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs

benny~tow: shut up noob

Roosevelt: haha wut a moron

paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?

Eisenhower: yah me too

T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol

Eisenhower: fock u

paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie

Stalin: go to hell lol

paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk

Eisenhower: yah this is gay

*Roosevelt has left the game.*

Hitler[AoE]: wtf?

Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join

*tru_m4n has joined the game.*

tru_m4n: hi all

T0J0: hey

Stalin: sup

Churchill: hi

tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!

tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY f**k I GOT NUKES

Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz

tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple

Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets

T0J0: wtf is nukes?

T0J0: holy f**kholyf**khoylf**k!1

*T0J0 has been eliminated.*

*The Allied team has won the game!*

Eisenhower: awesome!

Churchill: gg noobs no re

T0J0: thats bullsh*t u fockin suck

*T0J0 has left the game.*

*Eisenhower has left the game.*

Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****

Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss

tru_m4n: l8r all

benny~tow: bye

Churchill: l8r

Stalin: fock u all

tru_m4n: shut up commie lol

*tru_m4n has left the game.*

benny~tow: lololol u commie

Churchill: ROFL

Churchill: bye commie

*Churchill has left the game.*

*benny~tow has left the game.*

Stalin: i hate u all fags

*Stalin has left the game.*

paTTon: lol no1 is left

paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep

*paTTon has been eliminated.*

paTTon: o sh1t!

*paTTon has left the game.*

_________________

*spams a brick*

The Fellowship of the Ring, re-done in chat/AOL/1337-speak.

t3h F3ll0wsh1p of teh R1ng

[At Bilbo's 111th Birthday]

Merry: "Omg, I pwn"

Pippin: "Sif, I pwn"

**Rocket goes off

Gandalf: "Pwned!"

Bilbo: "This = shiz, bai foos"

Bilbo has left the server

Frodo: "wtf!?"

[later, in Bag End]

Gandalf: "Give teh ringz0r to Frodo"

Bilbo: "Sif! It r precious!"

Gandalf: "STFU NOOB!!!"

Bilbo: "ok"

Gandalf has logged on as admin

Bilbo has been kicked from The Shire

**Later

Gandalf: "Show me teh ring, foo!"

**Gandalf rides out, does some research, comes back

Gandalf: "OMGZ, it R teh ring!"

Frodo: "wtf?"

Gandalf has logged on as admin

Frodo has been kicked from The Shire

Sam has been kicked from The Shire

[At Isengard]

Gandalf: "sup dawg, i r g4nd4lf da gr3y!"

Saruman: "Foo! U R teh noob!"

Gandalf: "wtf?!"

Saruman: "Sauron pwns joo!"

Gandalf: "Sif, I R leet"

**Sarumon beats the **** out of Gandalf

Saruman: "Pwned!"

[on the road to Bree]

Merry: "look foos, shrooms!"

Pippin: "Woot! Shrooms!"

Frodo: "Ph34r!"

Sam: "Shrooms!"

Frodo: "PH34R!1!1"

**black rider stops, sniffs, goes past

Frodo: "OMG, packetloss!"

[bree, in the Inn of the Prancing Pony]

**Frodo is drinking and dancing on a table, then slips

Frodo has left the server

Frodo has connected to the server

Frodo: "OMGz, dc'd"

Aragorn: "OMG, noobz"

[at Weathertop]

Merry: "Mmm, shrooms!"

**MERRY IS BROADCASTING HIS IP ADDRESS!!!

Frodo: "Foos! Ph34r teh haxorz"

**the black riders attack

Merry: "OMG!!!"

Sam: "O.M.G!!!11"

Pippin: "wtf"

Frodo has left the server

**head nazgul stabs Frodo's ghost

Frodo has connected to the server

Frodo: "wtf... hax!"

**Aragorn lraps into the fray with a flaming brand

Aragorn: "PH34r!!!!!!"

Merry: "LOLOL flamed! "

[on the road to Rivendell]

Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!"

**Arwen rides up

Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"

Arwen: "Sif! wtf is up with Frodo?"

Sam: "teh leet Hax0r "

Arwen: "Firewall?"

**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.

Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"

**nazgul start to cross

Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"

**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away

Warning: Connection Problems Detected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

nazgul has disconnected

Arwen: "Pwnd"

[at the Council of Elrond]

Gimli: "dwarves pwn!"

Legolas: "Sif, Elves pwn!"

Boromir: "OLOLOL noobs, men pwn!"

Elrond: "STFU tards!!1!"

**Frodo puts the ring on the plinth

Gimili: "Sif ring pwns all!"

**Gimli swings his axe at it, which shatters

Elrond: "**sigh, noob"

[Frodo meets up with Bilbo]

Bilbo: "OLOL, me = 10th level thief!"

Frodo: "OMG, u r teh pwn!"

Bilbo: "Do u still have teh ringz0r?"

**Frodo shows Bilbo the One Ring

Bilbo: "OMG u tard, I want to TK you!"

Frodo: "sif!"

Bilbo: "ph34r my mithril"

[The Fellowship leaves Rivendell]

**Gandalf leads the fellowship through the mountains

Legolas: "OMG, 1337 gfx!"

Gimli: "I R dropping frames! FFS"

**There's an avalanche which threatens to knock them off the shelf

Gimli: "Gandalf, teh draw distance is too far!1!!1"

Gandalf: "**Sigh. Moria?"

Gimli votes to change map to Moria

Votes 4 of 4 required

Legolas: "lolol Gimli, time to upgrade!"

[The fellowship approaches the gates of Moria]

Gandalf: "FFS, its too hard! Anyone got a walkthrough?"

**The gates of Mordor open, but the Guardian attacks!

Frodo: "OMG! ph34r!"

Boromir: "GL HF"

Aragorn [broadsword] guardian

Legolas [arrow] guardian

Gandalf: "gg"

[The fellowship enters the mines of Moria]

Gimli: "OMG!!!! PWNED!"

**After travelling some time in the dark the Fellowship come to a chamber with a large well

Gandalf: "teh bookz0r has some clues!"

**Merry knocks a skeleton in armour down the well

Gandalf: "OMG! noob!"

Merry: "d'oh"

**The fellowship hears the ork drums

Boromir: "wtf?"

Aragorn: "wtf?"

Frodo: "..."

Gandalf: "Oh ffs >.<"

**the fellowhip shores up the doors as the orks come

Boromir: "TEAMS FFS!"

Aragorn [broadsword] ork

Gimli [axe] ork

Legolas [arrow] ork

Aragorn [broadsword] ork

Aragorn [broadsword] ork

Boromir [broadsword] ork

Gimli [axe] ork

Gimli [axe] ork

ork: "OMG! h4x!"

Gimli: "pwned"!

Legolas [arrow] ork

Legolas [arrow] ork

Legolas: "lol!!"

Boromir [broadsword] ork

Gimli [axe] ork

Gimli: "Foos!" Legolas [arrow] ork

ork: "ffs, wallhax!"

**The cavetroll enters the chambers destroying the doors

Gandalf: "Oh ffs!"

Boromir: "Omg, its teh boss!"

Aragorn: "Sif noob, we're not at teh end yet!"

**Cavetroll slams Boromir and Aragorn out of the way, and then skewers Frodo

Sam: "OMG!"

Gandalf: "OMG!"

Aragorn: "omg, pwn!"

**Legolas jumps on the cavetroll and shoots arrows down into its head

Legolas [arrow] cavetroll

Ork: "OMG! PWNED!"

Gimli: "LOLOOLOL! noobs"

**The fellowship then runs through Moria, chased the whole way by a horde of orks

Boromir: "FFS! Teams, foos!"

**A flaming shadow starts to follow them, and the orks withdraw

Aragorn: "Now THIS is teh boss!"

Gandalf: "OMG!"

**The fellowship take to long flights of stairs that are starting to crumble and fall. Orks shoot at them with arrows.

Legolas: "LOL, noobs. Chex0r this out!1!"

Legolas [arrow] ork

Legolas [arrow] ork

ork: "AIMBOT!"

ork: "turn it off!"

Legolas: "lolol!"

**The fellowship crosses a bridge, Gandalf stops to confront the balrog

Gandalf: "j00 shall not pass!"

Balrog: "wtf?"

Gandalf: "j00 SHALL NOT PASS!"

Balrog: "Sif, noob"

**Gandalf strikes the bridge with his staff, cracking it and causing it to break under the Balrog's weight

Balrog: "ZOMG! PWNED!"

Frodo: "OMG! Gandalf!"

**The Balrog falls and in a last act of defiance strikes out with its whip, entangling Gandalf

Gandalf: "D'oh"

Frodo: "OMG, joo foo!"

Gandalf: "fly u foos, fly!"

**Gandalf lets go and follows the Balrog into the crevass

Gandalf has left the server

Balrog has disconnected

[After escaping Moria the fellowship finds itself in Loth Lorien]

**The fellowship rests, and in the night Frodo speaks with Galadriel

Galadriel: "For a noob, u r teh leet!"

Frodo: "Sif. I don't want teh ringz0r. Do u want teh ringz0r?"

Galadriel: "******! SIF I want teh ringz0r. I have enough h4x of my own!1"

[The fellowship leaves Loth Lorien and sets out via river]

Saurman: "ph34r my army of uruk hai! Go outz0r, find teh hobbitz and pwnz0r them!"

uruk hai: "leet!"

[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]

**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him

Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!"

Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"

Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"

Frodo: "STFU noob"

Frodo has left the server

Boromir: "wtf! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!"

**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir

Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!"

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir

Boromir: "****ing campers"

**Aragorn comes across the battle

Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! wtf!"

Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!"

Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai

Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!"

**Aragorn goes to Boromir

Boromir: "Damn lag!"

Warning: Connection problems detected

Boromir has disconnected

Aragorn: "FFS!"

[Frodo returns to the bank of the river where he gets into a boat. Sam 'sees' him]

Sam: "Frodo! wtf! Invisibility h4x!"

Frodo has connected to the server

Frodo: "Sam, STFU and FOAD!"

Sam: "Sif!"

Frodo: "Oh, ffs n00b!"

3Nd!!!!11

My koong-foo is the best

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