Chuck Norris carries a card in his wallet, issued to him by the Supreme Court of the United States of America, absolving him from any charges of murder or attempted murder due to his sexual technique.
Chuck Norris can penetrate a female from up to a mile away, not psychokinetically, he just has a very large cock.
Chuck Norris performs cold fusion in his left testicle, and nuclear fission in his right.
The Leaning Tower of Pisa is a 1:3 scale model of Chuck Norris' flacid penis.
One time in an airport a guy accidently called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politley signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.